The Broken Mourning Dove
by Strawbaby909
Summary: Italy's depression and anxiety has been getting worse as the anniversary of his first love's death slowly comes closer. Not being able to vent to anyone and finding himself at wit's end, Italy begins struggling with self harm and suicidal thoughts, can Germany save his friend before it's too late? And will he find he has stronger feelings for the Italian then he thought...
1. Chapter 1

"It's nearly that day again…"

Those were the first five words to pop into his head.

"It's almost the anniversary…"

The dreaded day Italy hated the most. The day he had said _I'll return, I promise _and those very words still rang in his ears. The day his first love went to war and never returned.

A kitchen knife was clutched in his hand, he counted each cut.

one cut. two cut. three cut.

Each one was for the pain he should have felt instead of _him._

For him and his brother and his grandfather and for…Germany.

Another world meeting went by, a few arguments between France and Britain left Germany the one to sort things out. While leaving the room he was pulled over by the smaller country who had just lightly tapped his shoulder.

"what is it, Italy?" The german questioned.

"could you come over to my place please?" Italy begged in his slightly high-pitched voice "I want to paint you".

"Paint me?" Germany repeated in need of clarification.

"u-uh if you don't want to i could just bring my camera to the next meeting and take a picture of you, I could work off that" Italy offered. He sounded very nervous, which wasn't like himself at all. "I uh…I know you don't like getting your picture taken…ah forget about it Germany-".

The Italian attempted to just walk off but Germany had stopped him. "No, it's okay" Germany assured "but won't your brother kill me?".

Romano had never exactly taken a liking to Germany.

"No worries, i'll protect you!" Italy told him.

He grabbed Germany's hand excitingly and pulled him to their destination.

As soon as they walked into Italy's house Romano had noticed the unwanted visitor and his face scrunched up in disgust at the sight of Germany.

"Veneziano, why is the potato bastard here?" He questioned.

"I invited him" Italy answered "fratello please, we'll be out of your face i'm only taking him to my painting room"

Romano rolled his eyes and sighed "fine fine…" and resumed to what he was doing in the kitchen.

Italy led him up the stairs which brought him to a what looked like a knee wall attic, this is what Germany assumed he meant by his 'painting room'.

"here it is~" Italy happily announced "my little paradiso~".

Germany only assumed what Italy said in italian meant paradise because the second he walked in he became overwhelmed with wonderful art.

He had to admit, Italy had amazing artistic talent.

The room was filled with paintings. Along with that he had his pile of empty canvases, a classic wooded paint pallet, and he had a plastic bin filled with bottles of paint. The floor was covered in colorful droplets left from when Italy painted, and there was even a bed there.

Germany could only assume b the talent displayed that Italy would often spend nights in this room.

"go sit down right there" Italy pointed to the wooden chair he had placed in the middle of the room.

As Germany did so Italy set up his canvas and searched through his box of pencils to find one that wasn't broken.

"You don't even need to smile, your gonna be sitting there for a while" Italy informed him "and feel free to talk to me".

Germany nodded but his eyes remanned fixed on one of Italy's paintings. It was a fragile looking bird, it was a mix of sandy brown and grey. It's feathers looked very delicate.

"What type of bird is that?" Germany asked.

"hmm?" Italy turned away from his canvas to look at what the German was observing. "oh, that's a mourning dove!"

"Mourning dove…" Germany repeated. He had never seen one since they don't really populate Europe, but the name did sound familiar…

"Why is it called a mourning dove?" Germany asked yet another question revolving around the bird.

"It's call sounds like it's crying" Italy stated simply as he began to sketch away "Like it's crying out for someone to help them"

"Well that's rather upsetting…" Germany stated "and it's such a beautiful bird".

"Well that's nice Germany" Italy smiled "I'm sure the bird would be happy to know you think it's beautiful".

Germany's eyes scanned to look at more paintings. There was one of Romano and Spain with there arms around each other in what looked like a bar. Spain looked happy while Romano looked like his usual scowling self. Germany guessed Italy used his camera for that picture.

There were some rather old looking ones that he assumed were from when Italy was much younger.

There was one of a very detailed pond, but it looked like it was in need of some dusting.

And there was another of a small rabbit.

But there was a recurring theme in some of Italy's paintings.

There was a boy.

His hair was blonde and his eyes blue, much like Germany himself. In some he looked flustered and mad, but in one particular one he was looking at the boy had taken off his hat and smiled.

Italy had stopped sketching and moved onto painting so Germany didn't want to bother him, but something about this boy made Germany interested.

"hey Italy…" He began to question…

"who is this boy you paint a lot of?"

The answer took a while to come, but eventually he heard Italy say "A friend".

There was a long moment of silence then Italy blurted out.

"You remind me of him a lot"

Germany looked at Italy, all his attention was put into what he was painting yet his face looked longing and…sad. "Really?" Germany inquired.

"Yeah, you look a lot like him for one but…you just give off that vibe" Italy said.

Minutes passed by and soon minutes turned into hours, Germany ended up dosing off in his position un the chair. He was a bit concerned when he woke up but Italy was still paining away with no trouble at all.

This really gave the blonde time to realize how amazing Italy was, sure he wasn't army material but he definitely had a passion in artistic pursuits.

"Hey Germany" Italy called out.

Germany didn't even need to answer because the italian already knew he had his attention.

What came next was something he never would have expected to come from happy-go-lucky Italy.

From his partner, his friend, from the happiest person he knew came the very sentence that would forever haunt him…

"What would you do if i was gone?"

**_alright~ first chapter is done. I'm sorry if you notice any grammar errors i am not quite good at that and i don't have a beta reader. _**

**_I hope you enjoy this story because theres more to come :)_**

**_(also please look carefully for the comparisons of the mourning dove and a certain someone, it'll become important soon) _**


	2. Chapter 2

**_i found an embarrassing typo in my first chapter so i edited it and reposted it so i'm sorry if the followers of this story are confused. This is actually chapter 2, i'm sorry if i threw you guys off XD_**

"What would you do if I was gone?"

Germany never expected such a question would come from Italy…

Italy…the funny little italian everyone knew and loved…was asking such a question at such a random time.

"Italy i don't know how to answer this" Germany told him honestly "why would you even ask this? is something wrong?"

"It was just a rhetorical question Germany, I was just wondering" Italy told him.

But that's not something Italy would wonder about, was It?

"uh, Italy. If your ever in need of someone to talk i'll always be here" Germany told him in an awkward way. The German never really was good at comforting friends…or having friends to begin with.

Italy answered with an awkward laugh, "i'll be sure too".

Italy placed his paintbrush back in his cup of water and whipped off some of the paint on his hands on his rolled up sleeves. "I'm done Germany!"

He eagerly turned his canvas around to show his friend, this left Germany amazed at what Italy had painted.

It looked exactly like him.

There he was sitting in his chair, right arm propped up on the armrest and his face resting in the palm of his hand. His bright blue eyes staring right back at him. Even his usual relaxed face.

It looked as though Italy had simply just taken a picture and put in on the canvas.

"It's amazing Italy" he said.

Italy giggled "grazie!"

The Italian stood up and carefully placed his canvas down near the window to help the paint dry, "It was fun getting to paint you" Italy told him "we should do this again sometime!"

"Ja, we should" Germany agreed with a smile.

But maybe it was just him, But Italy seemed to force the conversation to be completely off topic from the question he had asked before.

Germany hated to admit it, but he was getting a little worried.

"Again Italy…If you ever need help come talk to me" Germany stated again.

Italy just nudged him out of the room with his elbows, not trying to get paint on his neat-freak friend. "i'll be fine, i'll be fine" He repeated "now hurry up and get home because fratello is probably upset your still here"

"your right" Germany agreed "I'll see you at the next meeting!".

As soon as Germany left the house Italy broke down crying. Sobbing into his hands he whimpered "stupid…stupid…stupid".

He took a deep breath and asked himself "why did I even ask that?"

Thoughts of ending it all forever echoed in Italy's head. Germany was the one person he was afraid of leaving and now the german is probably questioning him.

Romano could survive without him, Japan could too. Everyone else did as well. There was no purpose left for him.

It was stupid to even wonder if he would be missed.

Everyone he loved died in war.

His grandfather…

Holy rome…

Living forever terrified that Germany will march into more years of war and maybe he won't come back. Maybe he'll die trying to save Italy, somehow it'll all be Italy's fault yet again.

It was always his fault.

One cut. Two cut. Three cut.

He cut for everyone he loved.

He cut to make sure he was feeling pain and not someone who he loved.

He cut because he was unbelievably sad and the only way he could vent was to take it out on himself.

He cut because he couldn't stop

He cut for many reasons, some he couldn't even explain.

Germany said that if he needed help he could just talk to him…

Lies.

Italy's personal problems have to be kept to himself, or at least that's what he decided. He couldn't share, everyone probably thought it was impossible for Italy to be sad. Italy isn't allowed to be sad, that's the thing.

Four cut. Five cut. Six cut.

A voice from down stairs called out to him, "Veneziano, dinner's ready!".

"Shit!" Italy cursed, he grabbed some gauze and wrapped up his arm without cleaning it. The cuts burned but he could care less, he'd be in more trouble if his brother found him.

He rolled down his sleeves to cover his wounds the best he could and he raced downstairs.

"What took you so long?" Romano mumbled, sounding irritated. "Tomorrow your cooking, got that?"

"Si, fratello" Italy mumbled back.

He sat down and looked at his plate with a blank, un-appealed expression. Maybe it was because he had just slit his wrists but he found that he wasn't hungry at all.

"What's wrong, dumb ass?" Romano asked, the irritation in his voice had grown "aren't you gonna eat?"

"Romano i'm sorry…but i can't" Italy blurted out honestly.

This didn't settle well with his brother.

"dammit Veneziano!" he yelled "I went to the trouble of making dinner and you won't even eat it, that's ungrateful!"

"Scusi…" Italy apologized quietly, but Romano wasn't satisfied at all.

"Did you forget to take your medication?" the older italian asked his brother "you get annoying with out it".

Honestly, that statement just hurt.

Trying his best not to cry, Italy managed to choke out the words "yes…i took my medication…now i'll be going".

He walked away with his gaze fixed on the floor so he wouldn't have to see his brother's face as he left. As soon as he was out of sight back in his safe-haven he let the hot tears roll down his cheeks.

"Help me…" he whispered to no one.

Oh how he wished grandpa was still alive, he would probably know what to do.

He unraveled the gauze and started over again at the beginning.

One cut. Two cut. Three cut.

Tomorrow is the day…

Tomorrow is the day Holy Rome left to never come back.

Italy woke up dizzy, blood loss was never good for him. He was an extremely fragile person who would usually just faint at the sight of blood.

That is…until he discovered cutting.

Although it made him light headed and a bit sick, Italy found that cutting was a great way to take out his feelings on someone. And that someone was himself.

He got dressed in his usual suit that he wore to meetings, the sleeves were great more covering up his cuts.

"Fratello!" he called out to his brother who was probably still asleep upstairs "i'm going to the world meeting, ciao!".

A muffled and groggy "ciao" came back in response from Romano.

Italy decided he would simply just take his vespa to the meeting, for it wasn't very far from his home.

As he drove by on his motorcycle he noted that the flower salesmen had a wonderful bouquet of roses he could pick up on his way back home from the meeting.

Holy Rome would probably love some flowers.

He made his way to the meeting hall and was greeted by Germany saying "Guten Morgen Italy, nice to see your not late for once!". Germany laughed and Italy awkwardly laughed along with him.

Italy didn't find it funny at all and actually quite felt quite insulted, but alas, although Germany's comment was rude it was innocent.

Italy sat down in his usual spot and waited for all the conversation to subside.

France, Italy's oldest brother, sat in the empty chair next to him and gently asked "petit frère, how are you feeling today?".

"I'm fine…i guess, thank you for asking France" Italy responded.

France was the only one who knew about Italy's relationship with Holy Rome.

Him, Hungary, and Austria were the only ones who knew and thats the way he wanted to keep it.

Not only because it would reveal he's bisexual, but also just talking and remembering Holy Rome was far to painful to bare. If everyone knew he would be smothered and given weird looks every year when the day came by again.

"let's cover the daily events shall we?" Britain asked his fellow countries.

He had a pile of paper in his hands and he read out the list of important events that happened currently and on this day.

oh no…

Just as he expected, the name of his first love was brought up.

"Today is the anniversary of the fall of the Holy Roman Empire"

_Don't scream don't cry _Italy's inner voice begged _Just hold it all in._

"Holy Roman Empire?" America questioned "don't you mean the Roman Empire?"

"No America,they were two totally different people" Britain confirmed.

"Then how come I've never heard of this Holy Roman Empire?" America asked "whoever it was, they were probably really weak-!"

Just like that, without thinking and without so much as warning Italy got up out of his seat and stormed out of the room.

The door slammed loudly behind him.

The other countries didn't even know how to react. The room was filled with silence.

"did i…say something wrong?" America asked in concern.

"You did" France admitted "Italy was very close to the Holy Roman Empire…very close".

While America was ashamed and the others talked about Italy's sudden exit, Germany found himself longingly staring at the door Italy just left out of. Almost as if he hoped Italy would just walk back inside and say "don't worry guys i'm fine!"

"Germany…" Japan poked at his shoulder. The German could tell that he was worried too.

"Don't worry, Japan" Germany told him "I'll go find him".

Britain was left in charge and Germany left to explore the rest of the building in hopes of finding that Italy hasn't left the building yet.

With Italy no where to be seen, Germany checked the parking lot to find the Italian starting up his vespa.

"Italy!" Germany yelled.

Italy fearfully squeaked in response, "G-Germany i don't want to talk right now, i just want to go home…"

The German rested his bulky hand on his friends shoulder and said "You never act like that, is something wrong?"

The gentleness in his voice was calming…so gentle that it reminded Italy of _him. _

"Germany-"

"Italy, I don't like seeing you like this…so if there's something wrong you better tell me, okay?"

Italy could't even respond to that…How could he tell Germany whats wrong?

If he told Germany what was wrong he'd basically be begging him not to go to war, telling him that he'd offended by every rude comment anyone has ever told him.

In short, sharing his feelings couldn't be possible. It would only made him appear more weak then he was already viewed as.

"Sure…" Italy responded quietly. He couldn't even make eye contact with Germany.

With that one little word he drove off to his final destination of the day.

And the place where he would end his life.

**_cliffhanger~! i hope your all enjoying this story so far, read & review if you'd like~_**


	3. Chapter 3

Germany walked back into the meeting room to see everyone awaiting his arrival.

"Where's Itary?" Japan asked the second he stepped in without their Italian friend.

"He left, he seems really upset so we mine as well let him be…I guess".

Germany didn't feel that was right though, The Italian was oddly out of character and Germany hated to see him that way.

"u-uh if i could just suggest something…" Came a tiny voice behind him.

Germany turned around to see what was none other then Canada.

"Mein Gott Canada!" Germany yelled out in surprise "since when were you standing there!?"

Canada, slightly offended, sighed and answered "I was here the whole time…"

"sorry…But please, tell me what you think" Germany said.

"If he's really upset and doesn't want to talk about it you should be more persistant and have him vent anyway; keeping in your feelings for too long will only hurt you in the end, eh" Canada explained as he made his way to sit down next to his brother.

"oh wow, you know a lot" Germany said, honestly surprised.

"I only lean from personal experience" Canada shyly admitted.

In response to this, America wrapped Canada into a big brotherly hug that brought smiles to all the countries faces.

That's when it deemed to Germany, Italy needed that kind of love.

Romano was never really brotherly with Italy, neither was France.

Maybe his little Italian friend needed a big hug to let him know that he's always got support.

"I'm going to go look for him" Germany announced.

Before he had the chance to leave Japan grabbed his arm and told him "i'm coming as too".

Germany could tell from the look on his face that he was truly concerned for their ally. Germany gave him a nod and they set off.

Italy drove his vespa over to the little flower cart he saw before. With luck, the red roses he spotted before were still there.

_Okay Italy, fake smile _Italy lectured himself.

With that he put on a bright grin and approached the man.

"hello sir" he said happily "can i ask how much that bouquet of roses are?"

"two dollars" the man answered.

Italy pulled own a 5 dollar bill out of his pocket and placed it on the table, "keep the change".

"Are you sure?" The man questioned "that's a lot more then the roses are worth, i could give you money back".

Italy simply shook his head, took what he needed and left. "Grazie!" He called out to the man, then he hoped back on his vespa and headed towards his final destination.

He didn't even bother going home first, he much rather not see his brother and instantly regret his decision.

Now off he was going…To end his life.

Germany and Japan drove to Italy's house. When they got there Japan frantically knocked on his door.

His hands were shaky and Germany could tell the Japanese man was scared and nervous.

The sooner they found Italy safe and sound, the sooner everyone will be all happy and at peace again.

Romano was the one who ended up answering the door, "what is it?" he asked angrily.

As soon as he realized who was at the door he attempted to shut it, but the german was far more stronger then he was.

Giving up, Romano asked "what do you want potato bastard?!"

"We want to tark to Itary" Japan answered for him.

"Ja" Germany added on "you see, he's been upset lately and we want him to talk to us about it so maybe he'll feel better".

The look on Romano's face brought concern to both countries.

For once, he saw what was not an angry or irritated expression on Romano's face…but one of concern and uncertainty.

"Italy hasn't come home yet…"

France told him that Holy Rome's body was never found, but they picked a beautiful spot on the top of a hill to place his grave.

It was one of Italy's favorite places to relax and think, next to his painting room that is.

He decided awhile ago that if he ever decided to kill himself, that it would be with Holy Rome.

He was doing it…He really was doing it.

Without as much of a note or any form of goodbye…

With that thought Italy almost considered turning back.

"No Italy" He told himself "the torture will end if you do this…And it'll be best for everyone".

Japan immediately began to panic "what do you mean he didn't come home?".

"I meant exactly what i said, dumb ass!" Romano stated "and why are you freaking out? Italy wouldn't…try anything".

Romano trailed off as he thought long and hard, would Italy really harm himself in anyway?

He was out of character lately…

"I'll call his phone!" Romano stated. He marched into his house and reached for the house phone, then he aggressively dialed the number.

It rang…and rang…and rang…

"DAMMIT!" Romano cursed.

He waited for the answering machine too stop and he left a message in angry italian "fratello, se succede qualcosa di brutto ti sto uccisione gonna io sono così dannatamente preoccupato!"

After that Romano took a deep breath and buried his face in his hand…He really was worried.

"How about we call the allies" Germany suggested "We can talk over how we'll find Italy".

"Fine" Romano agreed "but this better work and we better find my brother soon".

Italy parked his vespa near the lower part of the hill and began to walk up. They picked a nice place for Holy Rome's grave, it was like a little picnic area.

Right there on the top of the hill was the cross shaped grave. A dead flower crown still lay beside it from his last visit.

"Hello Holy Rome…" Italy said out loud to no one; hopefully Holy Rome could hear him from the heavens.

"I bought you some roses", Italy gently placed them down beside the grave and sat down himself.

Taking a deep breath, he said "Holy Rome, i decided i'm going to commit suicide…"

Italy could almost hear Holy Rome begging him to reconsider.

"Holy Rome, it's not just because i miss you…It's because i'm done."

"I'm misjudged, mistreated, underestimated, and i'm made fun of everyday. I'm for certain everyone hates me…Even Romano, even Germany."

"Everyone I love dies in war…You, grandpa…I'm starting to fear eventually Germany will too. But whenever I ask him to stay back he just assumes i'm foolish and weak…"

Italy began sobbing.

"Holy Rome, i'm done with life and I want it to stop…"

He sat like that crying for a long, long moment of silence.

Much to Romano's own displeasure the allies all gathered up in his house along with Germany and Japan.

"where do you think he would have gone to if he didn't come home?" America asked to start the brainstorming.

"uh, i dunno maybe a restaurant, aru?" China suggested.

"He hasn't eaten anything since yesterday afternoon so that could be possible" Romano added "but again, he doesn't seem like he wants to even eat anymore".

This brought worry to everyone.

"Maybe he went to Austria's home?" Britain brought up "France, didn't you say he was raised there?".

"oui, i did" France answered "but i actually called over there a while ago after Germany called us …they say he isn't there either".

They all fell quiet.

"bloody hell, where could he have gone…" Britain mumbled.

"didn't you say today was a special date,da?" Russia asked Britain.

The british man thought back to the meeting and then remembered "oh yes, today's the anniversary of the fall of the Holy Roman Empire!"

"Je l'ai!" France shouted loudly.

Everyone's attention turned to him.

"Mes amis i know where little Italy has gone!" France exclaimed

"well don't keep us in suspense dude, where?" America urged him to carry on.

"the grave of the Holy Roman Empire".

When Italy finally got a hold of himself he stood and brushed the dirt off his pants.

"It looks like i'll be seeing you and grandpa really soon…" He whispered.

He walked to the point of the hill, a ledge that hung above a huge body of water below.

His feet were nearly hanging off the tip, and it sure made him feel alive.

This was It…no turning back.

Romano insisted that they make it towards their destination by foot, obviously in a hurry to find his brother.

This was the most concerned Germany has ever seen Romano.

All of them frantically ran to the hill.

"It ends here…"

"Almost there!" France told everyone.

China was nearly out of breath already and was only able to keep up with the helpful support of Russia.

Japan was almost at his wit's end too.

German however refused to feel any sense of exhaustion. Italy had to be found.

"h-help me…help me please" Italy called put yet again to no one.

He wasn't sure why he was arming for help or who he was asking for…but he felt he needed to reach out to someone…somewhere.

"help…"

Germany could have sworn he heard the sorrowful call of the mourning dove.

A beautiful bird, with a broken past to its mournful name. A bird who could only call for help.

Germany had to find that certain beautiful creature in need before it was too late.

Italy held his breath.

He wasn't going to think.

he was just going to do it.

They had finally made it to the hill. Their tired aching legs still had more work to do as they began to climb.

Germany trudged ahead. The mourning dove was calling to him.

"goodbye…" Italy whispered.

Before he could jump a loud, strong, but distraught voice yelled "ITALY!".

The Italian turned to see none other then Germany, the rest of the countries were still coming up behind him.

"Veneziano, get back over here!" Romano scolded, aggressively motioning Italy to come over to him.

Italy didn't show any sign of expression at all.

"Veneziano please…" Romano cried.

"Itary…" Japan tried as well.

Italy didn't even know what to think. Here they were, the very people he thought hated him were standing before him looking absolutely terrified.

"Italy, please…" Germany talked to him slowly and tried his best to sound calm "step off the ledge and think about what your about to do for a second".

Italy face scrunched up in pain as he shook his head. He never looked so fragile.

"Italy…please don't-"

"I'm sorry…"

With that said Italy fell…

And without thinking Germany jumped down with him.

**_another cliffhanger~ i had motivation to get this done so i hope you enjoy it ^_^_**


	4. Chapter 4

**_i sure wish i could figure out why my breaks i put into my last few chapters didn't show up when i posted it :T aw well~ another chapter here we go!_**

It all seemed to happen so quickly.

One second Italy on the edge of the cliff, the next he's falling. Then before he knew it Germany was falling too.

This wasn't want he wanted, not at all. He didn't actually expect Germany would dive in right after him…Maybe he wasn't even thinking either.

Germany's larger weight helped him catch up to Italy. He wrapped his big bulky arms around him and just like that time sped up. No longer being the slow motion moment they had before Italy felt a large painful smack against the freezing cold water. He had not prepared to hold his breath at all…why even bother.

With Germany landing onto of him all air left in his lungs left his body…

and everything…wen't…black…

Germany gasped out loudly for air as he was able to breach the surface of water. There was a shore not far from where he and Italy float. Doing his best to keep Italy's head above water and swam to land.

He carefully placed down Italy's body against the sand and checked to do if he was breathing.

…He felt nothing…

"Scheiße!" He cursed loudly in his native language.

He began roughly pressing down on Italy's chest.

He counted in german silently to himself.

Eins…Zwei…Drei

"come on Italy…" he pleaded.

_When Italy opened his eyes he found himself not in the ocean, but in a quite blank looking place. It was pleasantly warm. _

_A familiar old voice called out to him, "My precious grandson…why would you do such a thing?"._

_He turned to the source of the voice to find a friendly face he hasn't seen in a long, long time._

_"G-Grandpa Rome?"_

Germany pinched his nose and pressed his lips against Italy's cold ones and blew in. Now back to pressing his chest.

Vier…Fünf…Sechs.

He breathed into Italy once more.

"Italy please…don't make me count an further…"

Sieben…Acht…Neun.

_"Grandpa…" He repeated for clarity. The man nodded and gave a warm but sad smile._

_"wait, if your here…does that mean i'm dead?" Italy asked._

_"Not yet, Italy. It's simply isn't your time your going to have to go back" Rome told him._

_Italy frowned and looked down at his feet, "Grandpa, your probably going to hate me for saying this but I-"_

_"No need to explain, I already know…I've been looking after you" Rome explained. He placed a strong hand on Italy's shoulders and looked at him in the eyes._

_"Italy, there are people out there who love you and care about you and cannot survive without you…You have a very important purpose in the living world"._

_"So Italy" Rome said, his tone extremely serious "please live"._

_With that said, Italy understood._

_"And I know this won't change your mind on any of your suicidal thoughts and i'm sorry…But believe me Italy, you can make it through just have a little faith" Rome said._

_"Okay Grandpa" Italy agreed "at least tell Holy Rome i said hi"._

_"No need for that, my boy" Rome laughed, his voice slowly began to grow distant "Holy Rome is closer then you think!"_

_"Wait, what?" Italy gasped "what do you mean?"._

_But Rome didn't answer, he was disappearing. _

_"Grandpa come back!"_

"Don't leave me…come back Italy, come back to me!" Germany cried hopelessly.

He connected lips with Italy once again and brew in…With that Italy immediately came to and coughed up the water trapped in his lungs.

The coughing sounded painful but Italy was alive, thank the heavens.

"Italy…" Germany sobbed as he pulled his shivering friend into a tight embrace.

Right then the other countries made their way safely down the hill to meet them.

"Is everyone okay?" Japan asked in concern.

As soon as he saw Italy in Germany's arms cold and pale Japan ran to his aid.

He held Italy's hand close in attempt to warm him up. "He's freezing…" Japan exclaimed.

America stepped in and being the hero that he wrapped his big warm jacket around Italy.

The poor Italian couldn't stop shivering though.

"What should we do now?" America asked everyone.

"We can take him to my house" Japan offered "I can fix everyone up something warm".

"That sounds lovely" Britain agreed, but decided to turn to Italy's brother for his opinion. "What do you think, Romano?".

"ah, Japan's house is good" Romano agreed surprisingly without a fight "but could someone besides Germany carry my brother. He's soaking wet".

Although Germany wanted to take care of his little friend, he agreed. He was wet also and that would only make Italy more cold.

"He's actually pretty lightweight, I'll carry him" France said. He scooped his little brother in his arms and followed Japan, the others followed shortly behind.

Romano decided to walk next to Germany.

It was a little awkward at first, but then Romano shyly mumbled "Are you okay? you fell in too".

"Ja, I'm fine. I'm a lot bigger then Italy is and I…I kinda fell on top of him" Germany said.

He fully expected Romano to snap at him, he deserved it after all.

If he let Italy fall on top of him instead the Italian might not have nearly died…But Germany wasn't even thinking at the time.

"That's okay, he looks like he'll pull through" Romano told him "And…thanks for being there for him Germany, believe me i hate to say it but…I think you know my little brother better then I do".

This took Germany by surprise…He would never had guessed Romano would say something like this to him.

"Please protect him, okay?" Romano pleaded.

Germany saw it. Fear and sadness was written all over Romano's face.

He was concerned for his brother's life.

Germany just had to agree. For the sake of both brothers…

"Ja, I promise."

**_I listened to "Love is an open door" from frozen when I wrote the CPR thing X,D _**

**_look at me setting the mood pfff _**

**_anyway~ R&R and keep your eyes peeled for the next chapter._**

**_Italy might have been saved for now, but the tide always turns~_**


	5. Chapter 5

"Yo estoy aquí!" Spain announced as he barged through Japan's front door, he sounded out of breath and panicked.

"Spain!" Romano exclaimed in relief.

Spain hugged him tightly and Romano didn't even try to push him off, he accepted all comfort he could get.

"Romano, i heard what happened is he okay?" Spain asked.

As if on cue, Japan came out of the room where he was treating Italy and answered for him, "Itary should be okay, ruckily for him he didn't get any form of severe hyperthermia".

Spain nodded as he understood even Japan's bad english.

"He stop breathing for about 3 minutes though" Germany informed him.

Japan looked down sadly and mumbled, "yes there is that…".

"But he's going to be okay, right?" Spain asked to make sure. Japan nodded, "yes he'rr pull through…we arr berieve in him".

"Spaaaaaain" yelled an annoying and unfortunately familiar voice "you forgot about me and birdie!".

Prussia dragged the Canadian into the house and greeted ecstatically, "Guten Tag!"

His attempt to lift the mood however failed. Germany sighed "Bruder…now isn't the best time".

"I get it, west" Prussia told him in a surprisingly soft tone "and how's Ita doing?".

"freezing, unconscious, but alive" Romano summed it up with his face still pressed up against Spain for comfort.

"aw man…" Prussia groaned in distress "that's so un-awesome…".

Canada released himself from the Prussian's grip to join his brother on Japan's couch.

Now all they had to do was wait…

When Italy awoke he felt a lot warmer, but still he couldn't help but continue to shiver.

He found himself wrapped tightly up in a fluffy blanket, he also discovered he was wearing different clothes then before, but Italy didn't even need to look to tell that it was one of Japan's Kimonos. Which obviously meant he was at Japan's house.

He brushed back his hair with his cold fingers and shifted a bit under the covers, he was stiff from being stuck in the same position.

"Italy?" a gentle voice asked in concern.

He opened his eyes to see none other then Germany.

Germany…

And that's when he remembered…

_"Holy Rome is closer then you think!"_

There was no way, Grandpa had to be lying. Holy Rome was dead and gone…

"Italy?" Germany asked again, Italy had forgotten he never answered him.

"hmm, si Germany i hear you" Italy responded in a tiny and tired sounded voice. After that he began to cough, he was just recovering from having water stuck down his throat.

"Did you need anything to drink" Germany suggested.

"No, i'm okay" Italy whispered back, attempting to rest his voice the best he could.

"Italy…if you don't mind I want to ask you some questions" Germany informed him "i'm not forcing you but i really want to know why you ran away and why you jumped that cliff…"

Italy took a deep breath…then he agreed. "si…"

"first off, what was that stunt anyway?" Germany asked "did you trip or..?".

"oh Germany I don't think I can answer this one, per favore I can't…" Italy pleaded. But Germany was strait forward, "i'm sorry Italy but I really need this one answered…I just want to make sure if it was an accident or did you really-"

"I tried to kill myself!" Italy stated in a shaky voice, tears rolled down the side of his face.

Germany now knew, he was exposed.

The Germany hadn't even reacted yet and he was already upset at what was to come.

"Italy…" That was all Germany could say "I don't want to sound insensitive for asking but…why? was it because of your friend-".

"It wasn't just because of him, Germany" Italy blurted out "it's because of everything, i'm just unhappy!".

Germany remained quiet and allowed Italy to express his feelings.

"I can't believe no one knows that they hurt me, i hear everything you say about me; every single word. And the worst part is no one even bothers to consider it might hurt me…"

Italy breathed in deeply and continued to rant, "Useless, pathetic, weak, thats what i'm called from everyone, isn't it Germany? Even you!".

Germany looked away shamefully, Italy was more intuitive then most people thought. The poor little Italian had been hurting for such a long time and no one knew.

"I have no real purpose, and the worst part is I can't even save the people I love. They all died in war…My grandpa…My first love…And i'm worried you might too Germany!"

"your worried about me?" Germany asked.

"yes…" Italy sobbed "Everyday! Whenever you go off to war i'm worried your never gonna come back, Romano thinks I just need to up my dose of anxiety medication but it just doesn't help, i'm scared i'll loose you! I can't loose anyone I care about anymore I just can't!".

Italy took a moment to catch his breath from all the living… "So i tried to kill myself and just end it all…".

Germany scooped Italy up and held him in a tight grasp…And he cried.

Italy had never seen Germany cry before…He didn't even know Germany could cry.

"Italy, if you were gone i don't know what I would do…" Germany told him, not releasing his grip on the Italian one bit "I'd be lonely, un-social, and un-happy because your the brightest ray of sunshine that's ever come into my life…You my best friend Italy, I don't want to loose you."

Italy returned the hug, wrapping his cold arms around Germany's waist and taking in his body heat. "Grazie Germany…".

Germany gently pulled Italy off but kept a firm grip of his shoulders, "Now Italy, I want you to tell me everything else. Please do not keep anything from me i'm here to help".

Great…Just Great.

Now Italy had to spill everything, all of his deepest darkest secrets.

His cuts were probably still fresh, he was only asleep for maybe about a few hours. Italy rolled up his sleeves to reveal his untreated wounds his inflicted on himself. They were red and painful.

"I cut." stated simply.

"You must have really been hurting inside…Ja, Italy?" Germany asked him. Italy nodded silently.

Germany took his right arm to examine the cuts, slowly and gingerly he kissed the source of the wound and repeated that action with the left arm. "A kiss makes everything a little better" Germany stated "you would tell me that all the time, Italy".

Italy weakly smiled, his caramel colored eyes glimmered a bit brighter.

"You do understand i'm going to have to tell everyone" Germany warned him "Your brother, and your friends they're all waiting outside this room to see if your okay".

"Really?" Italy gasped. He never would have expected people would take the time out of their own lives to take care of him.

"Ja, i'll go get some gauze" Germany stated "And i'll tell the others about your current sate so they won't bother you with questions when they're let in".

After saying that Germany left the room and shut the door entirely before he announced "He's awake".

Those two words made everyone immediately jump up.

"But wait…There's something you must know before I let you in" Germany announced, this made everyone quiet down.

"Is there something wrong with him?" France questioned.

"The reason why he jumped of that cliff…Was because he was trying to kill himself".

The silence in the room was upsetting, everyone was just too in shock to even comprehend what was just told.

Italy Veneziano…The happiest guy anyone has every known…Attempted to commit suicide.

Romano had to sit down from being overwhelmed from shock. Spain attempted to comfort him but Romano was far too shaken up to even speak.

"Also, he has hurting himself" Germany continued. The mood of the countries were already brought to an extreme low, everything just seemed to get worse and worse. "But…We are going to help him recover, so i hope you all will treat him nicely while I am gone to get supplies to bandage his cuts".

Romano stared at him in the eyes in complete fear. Germany gently patted his head and told him "Go see him, it will all be okay soon i promise".

As soon as Germany left Japan's house everyone seemed to simultaneously run to Italy's aid.

"Veneziano!" Romano screamed which made Italy squeak in fear.

Romano pulled his brother into a hug sobbing in Italian, "non mi spaventare così! Ti amo ti amo!". Italy patted his brother's back and let him sob into his clothes.

"Good to see you are okay, little Italy" Russia beamed a smile down on him.

"You really scared the crap outta us, dude" America informed, sitting down next to where Italy lay and messed up his hair "especially Your bro, Japan too!"

Japan attempted to keep a strait face despite having tears roll down his face, "I was very worried Itary, I've always felt i needed to protect you and seeing how you a-almost…".

Japan became too choked up to speak anymore so Britain took over, "We were all bloody worried about you, ol' chap". Britain helped to calm Japan down while France took his turn to say some words, "petit frère, I do not know what I would do if you had not survived the fall…My precious petit frère…".

Despite being overly dramatic as he always was, France normally didn't say such kind words to Italy. It was a surprise.

"Someone as awesome and cute as Ita can't die, he'll never die!" Prussia yelled victoriously. Canada quietly nodded, his sweet smiling face was all Italy needed to see to know he cared.

"Mi hermano, i've never been so happy in my life to know that you were able to pull through" Spain added to the conversation.

"that's right!" China agreed "live long and prosper Italy, i know you can do it".

Romano's cried had calmed down and he lay relaxed in his brother's arms, obviously exhausted from being so worried.

People cared…unbelievable.

But it was true!

But…But…

The worst urge came to him…The urge to hurt. To cut. To bleed.

How long has it been? Is he still addicted? Even more addicted?

And why does he feel terrible…That he feels he's falling in love again…

With a different man.

**_This comes from personal experience, no matter how much people claim they care about you. There's always another reason to want to die and want to hurt yourself._**

**_Let's see how Italy pulls through! and *le gasp* whats this? romantic sub plot? _**

**_Can Italy fall in love again? let's see :)_**

**_(also sorry this took a bit longer to update. I'm going to see a performance my boyfriend is in and i need to be a good girlfriend and not spend my time writing gay fan fiction and support him XD also, i have to deliver sandwiches for super bowl at like 7am so that'll be fun :T until then, keep in touch and look out for the next chapter~!)_**


	6. Chapter 6

_How long has it been since I last cut?_

That was the only thought stuck in Italy's for the entire day.

Germany had returned with gauze and medical supplies and patched up Italy's wrists, but still he had the worst need to just rip off the bandages and make himself bleed all over again.

He had a will to live, His near-death experience with his grandfather and his family and friends all being there for him gave him motivation to strive forward.

But he had gotten used to the stinging sensation of the blade cutting against his skin, he needed to cut when he was upset and worried about hurting someone.

And hurting someone was what he was doing…

_I think I love Germany…_

_but I still love Holy Rome._

Anyone could just tell him that Holy Rome is dead as dust and that he should move on and make himself happy.

But he was the one who promised he'd wait for Holy Rome, and if he had to wait until the day the entire italian empire falls along with him he will.

He loved Holy Rome…But Holy Rome was no longer with him.

Would Holy Rome want him to be happy even if it meant falling in love with someone else?

Just thinking this made him want to cut for Holy Rome's pain.

What kind of person even falls in love with another man on the anniversary of his first love's death? Now that made him feel worse.

It was around 1AM now, he kept everyone awake after his suicide attempt which happened around 6PM. He suspected he was out cold for about 4 hours with everyone worried sick about him.

He spent a few hours with everyone after he awoke but they all grew exhausted, Germany decided to sleep over at Japan's house while the others returned to their own homes. His brother Romano fell asleep next to him on the Japan's spare futon.

He couldn't sleep himself because of his dark thoughts and because he had been unconscious for awhile.

He just had to…

But what if someone saw?

No he **had **to.

He quietly removed Romano's arm which was draped over his waist and squeezed out of his grip without waking him.

He was vaguely familiar with Japan's home, but had no idea where he kept his utensils.

He frantically pulled out every drawer and looked through every cabinet until he found a perfectly shape knife.

"yes" he whispered in content as he sliced at his own flesh. He tried his best not to get Japan's kimono bloody but there was no helping it.

He bled more then he ever had before.

_i'm sorry Holy Rome…I'm sorry Holy Rome…i'm sorry Holy Rome…_

"Italy?"

He froze…

Slowly he turned to see Germany. He looked slightly dazed from sleeping but there was shock and horror on his face that showed he knew what was going on and what was happening.

No one said anything.

"Italy…please put the knife down" Germany attempted at a soft approach.

"B-But i'm done done yet-"

"Italy! put the knife down NOW" Germany bellowed.

Italy looked shaken, his facial expression was one of an abused animal.

He promptly dropped the knife on the floor.

"Italy…" Germany began to walk slowly towards Italy. Before the Italian could run away he grabbed him and held onto him with a tight grip.

Italy squirmed and screamed out in fear.

"shhh" Germany calmed him "I'm not going to hurt you".

Italy's screamed turned into loud sobs that immediately woke Japan, He ran out of his room stumbling a bit from just waking up.

"Itary?" He questioned.

Germany looked to Japan, not knowing what to say or do. He still kept a strong hold of Italy's wrists, even though his hands were now bloody he was determined not to let him run off and hurt himself again.

"Everything is okay, Japan" Germany lied.

"No, it is not!" Japan yelled back, "why? Itary I want to know why".

"Ja, Italy. I thought you were going to work on recovering why would you do something like this?" Germany asked.

His attempt in helping Italy came off as insensitive and Italy snapped, "I'M TRYING!".

His screams echoed throughout the house.

With that, fatigue started to sprout from the blood loss and he stumbled backwards.

Germany caught him and set him down on the floor.

"Oh no!' Japan cried. The usual calmness in his voice was no longer there.

Italy could hear through his fuzzy mind the sound of a door opening and the mortified scream of his brother.

"Veneziano!"

"Itary!"

…

"ITALYYY…"

….

When Italy came to he was in a different pair of clothes, he could tell almost immediately. They fit him almost perfectly but they were still a little big, they most be his brother's clothes.

He sat up and regretted it instantly, the dizziness that came over him was overwhelming.

It was bright out, that means it's a new day. The anniversary is over…but he still felt like he betrayed Holy Rome…He still felt awful.

And right after everyone showed they cared about him he had cut himself so bad he blacked out.

They must hate him now.

Italy would have just gone back to sleep but it's been two full days since he last ate so he figured it'd be best for him to get some food to help with his fatigue.

He kept his hand against the wall to prevent him from falling over and he slowly slid the door open.

Germany, Japan, and Romano all turned to him. They were sitting at the kotatsu as if waiting for him.

"uh…good morning" Italy greeted them awkwardly.

Germany stood up and gave him a great big hug, "I'm so happy your okay" He told him.

"I'm sorry…" Italy apologized "it's…kinda hard to stop once you start".

"it's alright…I have no knowledge of depression or self harm but i can promise you i'll do my best to help" Germany told him.

Italy hugged back happily, almost as if his usual self was coming back a bit. This brought a smile to both Japan and Romano's face.

"Sit down, and have something to eat you must be starving" Japan said and he moved a plate of breakfast over to Italy's side of the table.

He laughed a bit and took his seat and began eating.

It's been awhile since he's eaten much, he wasn't even sure his stomach could handle it but everything went down well.

"I brought these over" Romano mentioned, he slid the tiny bottle of pills to Italy, "maybe your just a bit un-easy since you didn't get your dose in a while".

Again, Romano was always thinking the medication could solve everything.

But Italy felt weird without the drug so he took the pills without a fight.

"Do you feel at least a bit better today?" Germany asked. Italy nodded a bit, keeping his uneasiness to himself. "si".

"We're going to have a meeting later on today and i wanted to make your you were feeling good enough to come" the German explained.

_SHIT!_

Italy internally cursed. He nearly died yesterday and now he has to be around the other countries? Last time he was at a meeting America accidentally made fun of Holy Rome right in front of him!

He didn't even want to think about Holy Rome, it brought too much pain.

"S-Sure Germany" He answered.

"Are you sure your okay?" Germany interrogated "you sound nervous".

"Nope haha!" the italian laughed "i'm fine, I just need to get dressed in my own clothes that's all".

"I think yours from yesterday are dry now, I can go get them" Japan said.

"Grazie!" Italy thanked him unnecessarily loudly.

He still wanted to cut…badly.

…

Romano stayed home as usual and Italy ended up taking a ride with Japan and Germany.

He felt like he was internally dying, the need to cut was greater then ever. But he couldn't find a single knife in Japan's house. Japan was smart, he hid them some place Italy just couldn't find them.

He decided to focus himself on Germany's strong and broad shoulders, his beautiful greased back blonde hair… His beauty was that of what Holy Rome had.

The resemblance between Germany and Holy Rome once brought painful memories, but now…All he was was a second chance at love.

Maybe what Grandpa meant by Holy Rome being closer then he thought meant that Germany IS Holy Rome.

But it still didn't seem possible, reincarnation didn't work with countries…Or does it.

Maybe Holy rome lived and is actually Germany.

Or maybe…it's just a cruel resemblance in order to mock him.

Either way, He couldn't deny he loved Germany.

His strength and his gentleness, his will and power, his everything…

But loving him only hurt.

It hurt so bad.

"okay, we're here" Germany announce pulling Italy out of his day dreaming.

He took a deep breath and stepped out of the car with Germany and Japan.

Here comes absolute hell…

"Hey, Italy!" America yelled out loudly and ran to tackle him.

Italy appreciated that America took it more gently then he normal would with him.

"you dumb ass, be careful!" yelled the british man who was enjoying his morning tea before America had loudly attacked Italy.

"Stop being stuck up, Brit!" America sassed back, shoving Italy forward "and go attack this dude with love!".

"Nǐ hǎo, wǒ xiǎng nǐ jīntiān yùnqì!" China stated in his native language, "In Chinese that means good luck!".

"In Russian it would be удача" Russia added on.

"In French it would be cul sexe~" France said.

Britain immediately chocked on his tea ands screeched "You stupid frog, i know what you just said!".

"ohhonhon, i was only joking" France laughed.

"France what did you say? i wanna google translate it!" America begged, holding up his iphone to the frenchmen.

"If you want to know so bad learn french yourself" France said and stuck his nose up in the air.

"what? no, dude please!" America pleaded.

The commotion in the room was just what Italy needed to retreat.

The food tables at the meetings were always fancy, there had to be a knife somewhere…anywhere…even a butter knife would do.

Somewhere on this elaborate decor had to be something sharp.

That's when he saw it.

They must have been preparing to have the meeting go on passed dinner time because there was a chef who let out a huge kitchen knife…

The kind you would use to cut meat.

Italy took it without thinking at all and ran into the bathroom.

He sat on the floor next to the sink and just stared at it.

It was huge, It was perfect.

But should he do it..?

His conscious was having a battle against itself almost as if the little angel and devil were on his shoulders.

_You love Germany and you can't deny it _

_You fell in love with someone else on the day your first love died, how could you?_

_You should have just died, you don't deserve anyone _

_Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut!_

He sliced his wrists with the knife roughly and aggressively. Blood smeared across his arm and the bathroom floor. But it wasn't enough

_Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut!_

What more is there to cut? he's only ever cut his wrists…what more?

_Cut more! Cut more dammit!_

He drove the knife into his waist.

Loud painful screaming was heard across the whole building.

All of the countries froze.

Germany looked around…

"Italy's not here…" He said in horror.

They all split up and checked every room, slamming open every door.

Germany opened the bathroom door to find the Italian laying pale and motionless on the floor, blood was everywhere and their was a knife lodged in his waist.

"ITALY!" Germany screamed in horrible terror.

He held the Italian in his arm checking to see if he was still alive.

hazy and tearful eyes opened up to look at him. "G-Germnay?" His weak voice called out to him.

"Italy, it's going to be okay!" Germany cried "I'm going to help you!".

His comment could not be heard by Italy, he was already too far gone.

He was just staring at him with a dazed smile on his face.

"Germany…I think I love you".

**_woo~! another cliffhanger! let's see how Italy will pull through…Or if he'll pull through. And how will Germany react to being told Italy loves him o_o we will find out soon~_**

**_R &R~!_**


	7. Chapter 7

_"Germany…I think I love you"._

…

Germany sat outside the hospital room where Italy was treated. No one had any idea if the hospital could even save a country, but it was worth a try.

He just couldn't believe it…Italy said that he loved him…

Germany wish he could share his feelings back but the Italian was dying for all he knew.

In that room alone and surrounded by doctors…

How could he even let him out of his sight after all that has happened…He should have known.

He promised Romano that he'd protect his precious little brother and he failed.

"Dammit…" he muttered.

"Germany" Japan called out holding two drinks, a warm tea and a coffee. He handed the coffee to Germany and asked "Have you heard anything from him yet?".

"No" the German answered simply. Japan gave a saddened look, then asked "how are you doing".

"Not good at all, Japan" He answered truthfully "Italy needed help and i've failed to look after him. I'm a terrible friend. Now we're not even sure if he'll pull through".

"I'm sure he'rr be okay" Japan tried to make things better, but Germany was reluctant.

"We can't just assume he'll be fine…He's broken inside…Like a Mourning Dove".

"Mourning dove?" Japan repeated.

"It's a beautiful bird that sings a sad song…" Germany informed "Italy has to be the most beautiful person I know, and he's just so damaged…".

"Beautifur?" Japan repeated yet again.

"He said he loved me" Germany said "and I think I love him back".

Japan took a moment to process, but then he smiled and said "Then he'rr have to be okay Germany, for the sake of rove".

"That was cheesy" Germany laughed.

"Maybe so, but i've read enough manga to know where this is going" Japan hummed and left Germany to have a little time to himself.

Germany's smile quickly faded as he was left to yet again go over the events of the day and think about his feelings for Italy, and of course Italy's condition.

"Mr. Beilschmidt?" the doctor called out for him as he left the room.

"Yes that's me!" Germany called out.

"Your here for Mr. Vargas, correct?" The doctor clarified.

"Yes" Germany answered again.

"Well sir, It seems he will be okay but the fact he could survive such a stab is far passed out knowledge" the doctor informed him.

That was a relief to Germany, It seems being a country helped Italy pull through.

"But we can only assume he will be in a coma-like state for a…long while" The doctor added on.

This made Germany freeze. "W-What does that mean?".

"It means we're not sure if he will ever wake up" The doctor explained "i'm sorry".

"Not ever..?" Germany voice cracked out of sheer fear and sadness.

"Mr. Beilschmidt, I said we're not sure. Your friend could pull through if you believe in him" The doctor encouraged him. With that he stepped into another patient's room.

Germany was sadly the type of person who weighed the cons more then the pros.

_Italy could _**_never _**_wake up…_

The pain was too unbearable.

He walked into Italy's room where the pale form of his friend lay. He looked nearly lifeless…Not at all like the Italy he loved.

Perhaps all Italy's feeling were not shared if he felt he needed to drive a knife through himself.

"Italy Veneziano" He began "I'm not good at sharing my feelings…At all."

Germany's mind took him back to when He had first met the Italian, hiding out in a box during world war 1. His high-pitched cries begging Germany not to kill how, and how reluctant he was to leaving.

At the time Germany was angry and stressed that he was stuck with a guy like this forever, but as time grew on he enjoyed his unconditional love.

"But i appreciate you more then anyone in the world, your my best friend…And i love you very, very much Italy" Germany confessed "For a long time i've felt lonely, being hated by all the other countries left me a heartless soldier. But you Italy, you changed me for the good! I don't think i could ever thank you enough".

He could feel it, he was shedding real tears. The strong and merciless Germany…Was crying.

"Italy, to answer your question from before…If you were gone I would probably gone down with with" Germany sobbed "I can't imagine life without you, it's certainly not a life worth living without you".

"Italy come back I love you…"

…

There was still nothing but silence.

Overwhelmed with emotions he decided to take his leave. But before he left…

"This isn't how i'd imagine my first kiss would be like…" Germany said "but maybe magic does work out…And I don't think i can leave this room without a kiss goodbye".

With that, Germany softly planted a kiss against Italy's lips…

…

_"Italy come back I love you…"_

_Italy opened his eyes to the familiar sounding voice. _

_"Germany?" _

_He saw absolutely nothing. He was dead…Wasn't he._

_"No…No I don't want to…I don't want this"._

_He heard Germany's muffled Incoherent voice slowly fade._

_"Germany don't leave..!"_

_Slowly fading, he heard no more._

_"I don't want to leave…I want to stay with Germany, and Romano, and Japan, and everyone!" He screeched._

_Yelling out into no where, he screamed at the top of his lungs._

_"I want to live!"._

_And just like that…Everything turned white._

**_What happened to Italy? did he die, did he survive? keep in touch and R & R (also sorry this chapter is short, i'm gonna make the finale as big as i can!) _**


	8. Chapter 8

**_I was just so excited about this chapter i wrote it all in one sitting and i decided to post it today. I hope you enjoy! and thanks to everyone who stuck with this story till' the very end, i'm grateful for all of you._**

Italy opened his eyes and let out a large gasp.

What he say was a blank white ceiling, he scanned the room to see where he was in the first place, it was unrecognizable. Everything was just white.

He attempted to lift his arm but everything felt so heavy…Why?

Slowly and steadily he brought up his arm to his face, and IV needle was attached.

Hospital. This was a hospital.

Did countries even go to hospitals? Why was he even here?

Thousands of questions overwhelmed his just awoken mind, he tried to trace back his steps but almost everything was a blur.

"I was at a world meeting" He recited.

"I…Found a knife…I…stabbed myself" Italy eyes scanned the room despite there being no clues.

"Then…I said…"

_"Germany…I think I love you"._

Memories of that day instantly flashed back to Italy, He said it…He admitted he loved Germany right after he stabbed himself. "I confessed to Germany…" he told himself.

Embarrassed and shocked he didn't even notice his brother walk in the door.

"Veneziano?" Romano asked, as if not even sure his that was really his brother sitting up in the hospital bed.

"Buongiorno, Fratello~" Italy bid his brother good morning in Italian.

Romano burst in to tears and ran up to hug him.

"O-Ow, Romano that kind of hurts!" Italy warned his brother, which led to Romano instantly letting go but still he reflected many emotions.

"Veneziano, it's been 3 weeks…you've been asleep for nearly an entire month!" Romano told him.

"3 weeks?" Italy gapsed "but that's so long!".

"you're telling me, idiot!" Romano yelled back. He took a deep breath to clam himself.

Romano must have been working hard with Italy being asleep for 3 weeks; Romano had to take care of their shared county by himself, when usually Italy was better at the military and economic stuff.

"Fratello, are you going to be okay?" Italy asked worriedly "you seem very stressed".

"Your worried about me?" Romano questioned "geez, that's typical you…".

Italy shrugged, he couldn't help but to worry about his brother no matter how reluctant he was to it all the time.

"I'd say you should be more worried about yourself…But you pulled through faster then the doctors expected" Romano stated "Speaking of which i should call one down and let them know your awake, Germany too".

Did Romano just say…Germany?

Oh dear, what kind of things happened while he was asleep?

Romano helped Italy get caught up in what happened while he was out of commission. Apparently he was visited a lot. Mostly by him, Germany, and Japan. But the allies, Spain, and Prussia came along as well. It was a pleasant surprise to know people cared so much.

Soon they heard loud violent footsteps growing closer outside the room telling him the German had arrived.

The door opened and Germany burst inside, a mix of worry and happiness was expressed on his face.

"Italy" He smiled.

"GERMANY!" Italy squealed loudly, throwing his arms open for Germany to give him a huge hug.

Germany pulled off slightly and told him "I missed you so much", Italy answered with an unexpected kiss that left everyone in the room frozen.

Germany's face glowed a bright red, he hand was pressed up against his lips.

Horribly embarrassed, Italy recited an entire apology. "I-I'm sorry Germany, I wasn't thinking! I was just so excited you know how we Italians are-!".

Germany interrupted him with another kiss, one that was completely on purpose. Italy threw his arms around Germany and they stayed that way gently kissing each other's lips.

"Oh man…" Romano looked away "I don't even know if i approve of this".

Finally, they released each other in order to confess.

"Germany, that friend of mine who died…He was my first love. I was a little scared when i realized i fell for you, but know I know if he really loved me he would want me to be happy" Italy explained.

"I couldn't agree more" Germany responded, his light blue eyes looked so soft and lovestruck.

"That means you gotta take care of my brother" Romano shouted from across the room "If you break his heart, i'll break your face!".

Italy giggled as Germany seemed to be unfazed by Romano's threat.

All was well.

…

It didn't take Italy very long to recover and be able to return home, there was the occasional dizziness and nausea but he managed recovery perfectly.

Germany had invited him over to his house, that's when Italy brought up yet another unexpected question.

"Germany, is being in a relationship going to interfere with the way we run our country?"

"Not at all" Germany answered "We can have a human-like relationship and still run our countries perfectly the same, there's nothing to worry about".

"Good" Italy stated, extremely relieved.

After Holy Rome left Italy was always questioning if he should have taken his troops and run into war with him. No matter how much Germany likes to fight, Italy decided it was best to trust what he was doing and keep his own country safe.

"Italy, I want to show you something" Germany said in an excited tone.

He brought Italy to his own attic, where there were thousands of boxes and dusty souvenirs.

"Your showing me your attic?" Italy questioned.

"I want to turn it into a painting room like yours" Germany admitted "I want you to teach me how to paint".

"Really? Your not kidding?" Italy demand an answer, jumping joyfully.

"Ja, you have wonderful artistic talent and i hope you can teach me how to look at things differently" Germany answered, "I need to move some of this stuff out though".

Italy got on to the tips of his toes to plant a kiss on Germany's cheek and began to search through boxes. "I'll help~" he sang "I can even move in some of my empty canvases for you!".

"Sounds great" Germany agreed and moved to his own working space, "So i think once we clear some boxes out we can move the canvases here…And i'll have to purchase some paint".

As Germany rambled on Italy stumped upon something he thought he'd never see ever again.

A tiny push broom…

Italy was too overtaken from shock to say a word.

His own push broom, the one who used to sweep the great halls of Austria's house as a child…Was inside Germany's attic.

Germany was Holy Rome.

"And i think maybe I could…" Germany trailed off once he saw Italy frozen in place staring sown at the tiny cleaning tool. "is something wrong Italy?".

"N-Nothing!" Italy stuttered as he left his thoughts "This broom just reminds me of the one i had as a child".

"Right, I remember Hungary saying that you used to do all this house work for Austria like a slave" Germany said "And you were only just a child, that lazy prick…".

After that comment Germany went on his own conversation again leaving Italy just to sadly smile.

"I may have been just a child…But i was a child in love" He said quietly out loud for only him to hear.

He placed the broom down in the box and left it there to remain forever.

_Germany doesn't need to know._

Italy thought to himself.

_The past is in the past…And i think I love him more now then I ever have before._

There was a fresh new start for him and the only man he could ever love. No matter what form or person he took up as, Italy could never stop falling for him again and again.

This Mourning Dove was no longer Broken…He was fixed.

…

_"I have died everyday waiting for you. Darling don't be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more."_

_~Christina Perri (A thousand years)_

_The End._


End file.
